This post originally appeared as a response to this question on Quora — “In observing life deeply, what are your conclusions?”
Some of the conclusions are simple and cliche — as with most useful pieces of advice. Some of them were counter intuitive. Some of them were things I wish weren’t true, but are.
See the list for yourself. If you have observations to add, leave them in the comments below.
Pretend like your parents are dead — This is the title of a chapter in the book, The Way of the Superior Man. The section talked about men and their fathers, but it rings true for everyone. Some people are 47 years old and still let their parents’ opinions and actions dictate how they live — become a fly on the wall of a therapist’s office and you’d see. You have to let go of what they did or didn’t do — no matter how bad — if you want to live your life.
People are starving for meaning — I’ve come to the conclusion that people who balk at personal development, purpose, and passion are the ones who want it the most. It’s their coping mechanism. Deep down, we all want to think our life means something. And if we think it doesn’t, we suffer subtly, silently, and slowly. You want to make a contribution and pretending like you don’t won’t fix that.
Luck plays a large role in life — Replay Bill Gate’s Life 1,000 times and he becomes the founder of Microsoft once. Many people at the top of their field are there because of ‘survivorship’ bias. Get a large enough pool of people, and a few will be on top out of pure luck. The best you can do is increase your odds of success — stack complimentary skills — and create a life that will do well across 1,000 simulations. A successful dentist would likely become a successful dentist in 999/1,000 simulations given he or she graduated from dental school.
Making things makes your life better — People who have ‘pet projects,’ side businesses and/or creative ventures are usually happier. There’s just something about being able to say ‘I made this’ that gives people the meaning and sense of competence they desperately crave.
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