Some people don’t like me.
It’s taken many, many years. But I accept this fact now.
Until maybe sixth or seventh grade I was blissfully unaware. I would just be me, however weird or annoying that might be, and I didn’t think twice that maybe someone didn’t like it. Or me.
At a certain point, your brain changes and all of a sudden the only thing that matters is acceptance. You want to fit in. You need to fit in.
I played piano since I was seven and was really good at it. Later, I found it out it wasn’t that cool. So when I got my name in the local paper for coming in second in a state piano competition, I was horrified. I didn’t want people to know, because playing the piano wasn’t cool.
Through middle and high school, I would constantly filter what was in my brain before it would leave my mouth. Will people think what I’m saying is cool? Will they approve of what I’m saying? Will they think more of me?
The pressure was quashing all of the original thoughts running through my brain. This pressure was quashing me.
I was trying to be what I thought other people wanted me to be. Ironically by doing this, they probably thought even less of me.
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